Bad experiences
by jellyjam rabbit
Summary: Vince makes friends with a plot bunny...please review boosh fans! some language, animal nastiness yadda yadda.apart from the rabbit,this stuff belongs to Noel fielding and julian barratt. mwaaaaa!


Vince snuck out of Bob Fossil's office, hiding a new friend under his jacket. It was a white rabbit in a blue dolls dress. Obviously Fossil had been playing with it.

"Wonder how it would feel about some sequins" Vince thought and continued thinking of customizing the outfit on the way back to his cabin.

Inside, jazz music was playing at full blast. "Oi, Howard!" Vince shouted. Howard ignored him and carried on dancing.

"De bop de bop"

"HOWARD!" he repeated, turning off the CD player. Howard immediately stopped dancing.

"I was listening to that" he whined. "Getting into the groove, the jazz trance de bop! "

"Whatever. Look what I..."

"What the hell is that?" snapped Howard.

"A rabbit you dimbo"

"well yes I know that, but what's it doing here? You know I hate rabbits, I had a very bad experience with a rabbit."

"Well course it was bad, how'dya think the rabbit felt with you trying to bum it." Vince laughed.

"I wasn't, it mistook my finger for a carrot"

"I know what else it mistook for a carrot" muttered Vince.

"Pardon?" asked Howard, frowning.

"Nothing, anyway I just rescued him from Fossil's office"

"I don't care just get it out of here!"

Vince left, leaving Howard to sulk in his chair. Peering back through the window he could see him, staring at his trousers with his face all screwed up. Smiling, Vince put his attention back to the rabbit.

"It's okay little bunny, just you and me, never mind horrible bob and howie." he cooed.

"Oh shut up you prick!" replied the rabbit "I'm not a baby y'know …and my name's Angus!"

"Wow, a talking rabbit" said Vince, though he wasn't that impressed.

"You humans really are as dumb as you look. You're not the only species that can talk!" Angus snapped.

"Yeah but at least we have style, what the hell are you wearing?"

"That loony American guy put it on me. Anyway, I'm on a mission."

Vince was intrigued. He walked over to a bench and sat down, putting Angus beside him.

"What kind of mission" he asked.

"Take you around, addle your brain and eventually kill you" Then he laughed madly. Vince let him for a carry on for a minute before interrupting him with a small cough. This rabbit was insane.

"What kind of mission is that? Me and Howard have adventures like that all the time. It's 'mazing – ooo look at the tundra- ooo it's so scary. Did you know, I made friends with a polar bear out there, sent me a postcard last week, 'ice to see you'… hey where are we"

"In Antarctica" Angus replied smugly.

"You could've told me we were going. I didn't bring my coat or my purple earmuffs!"

The rabbit was rather disappointed by Vince's reaction. "Quit whining, I'm a plot bunny, anything could happen" He wiggled his nose and gradually the snow faded away and they were standing in a hot desert. "See, now we're in Egypt, not going to need your coat here."

"Cool. Hey, you could do an impression of that lady from Bewitched"

"Oh wonderful!" said Angus sarcastically.

"What else can you do?"

"Anything I want to so watch it buddy… How about this for example" He wiggled his nose again and this time they were back in the cabin.. Howard was on the sofa with Mrs Gideon. Kissing. Vince staggered back in shock.

"How did you make THAT happen?"

Angus said nothing, but twitched his nose and they were safely back outside the cabin. "Impressed?" he asked.

"Cor! Anyone one who could make that happen must be like a god!"

"Well, you'd better treat me like one otherwise he'll be doing that with you!"

"What do you want" asked Vince, worriedly.

"For now, lots of carrots. I haven't had food for ages with that freak boss of yours looking after me!"

"I'll just get some Angus… er sir"

Vince went back into the cabin. Howard was still there. "You alright ?" He asked, noticing Vince's worried expression.

"Um, yeah." Vince replied "I just had a bad experience with a rabbit."


End file.
